Sunday, April 26, 2009

50 Ways to Spend Your Birthday

A dear friend turned 50 on April 18 and we gathered in Las Vegas to celebrate. Although Vegas is far from my favorite place, I just couldn't miss this celebration. David and I wrote a parody song to commemorate the occasion.

50 Ways to Do Your Birthday
Lyrics: Melissa Smith and David Saslav
(with apologies to the great Paul Simon)

We know the angst you feel ‘bout reachin’ 50 years
You know it’s really not all bad… just think of all the beers!
We're gonna help you to reduce those tears and fears, with
50 ways to do your birthday

There really is no need for you to envy us, just ‘cuz you’ve –
Reached this milestone age, so far ahead of us,
So, Kim, we'll help you celebrate without much fuss,
There must be 50 ways to do your birthday
50 ways right here in Vegas!

Just take in a show, Bo
Drink some more gin, Wynn
Go Swim in da pool, fool
Forget your age!

Go lay down a flush, Rush
and drink like a big lush
Drop a couple o’ grand, Stan
Forget 5-0!

Get ripped on the Strip, Chip
Sleep at the Mirage, Rog
Forget your age!

Go soak in a tub, Bub
Get loose with a MASSeuse
Find someone to marry, Harry
Forget 5-0!

It really grieves us all to see you in such pain
We wish there was something we could do to make you young again….
We so appreciated you, oh way back when,
so we'll explain again about the 50 ways...

It seems like none of us will get much sleep tonight…
…but in the morning you'll begin to see the light
We'll wish for you so many blessings on this night
There must be 50 ways to do your Birthday
50 ways right here in Vegas!

Go find a pole and shimmy, Kimmie
Find all of your bliss, Liss
Start ridin’ the wave, Dave
Forget your age

Just head to a spa, Ma
Dress up all fancy, Nancy
Drink one more shot, Scott
Forget 5-0!

Get lost in the mob, Bob
That sure would be swell, Michelle
Get caught with a john, Bon
Forget your age

Shake it and shimmy, Kimmie
Wearin’ somethin’ flimsy
Disturb the peace, Denise
Forget 5-0!

And to hear this masterpiece...arranged and sung by David Saslav

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